The Days Are Long, The Years Are Short

“The days are long but the years are short.” I have no idea where I heard this once, but it’s definitely fitting when it comes to parenthood. My days are often filled with tantrums and tears; it’s not a typical day without at least one complete meltdown. Some days are a real struggle, if I’m being totally honest, and seem to just go on and on and on and… you get the idea. This last year has really just flown by, though, and it makes me sad that we’ve officially entered the “toddler” stage. My baby is not such a baby anymore.

When you become a parent, you really have to take a step back and stop rushing things. During all the tantrums, you have to remind yourself that this, too, shall pass, and before you know it, your child will be another year older.

Of course, my days aren’t totally filled with tears. My days are also filled with love and laughter; between the tantrums, we cuddle and we play on the floor together and we have regular dance parties in front of the television. She’s my sun, moon, and stars, my pride and joy, my reason for living, my greatest accomplishment, my happiness, my inspiration. She is the little love of my life, and she’s a year old already.

A couple of days ago, a good friend of mine informed me that her water broke (three weeks early!) and she was looking at having her baby soon. I began to cry, thinking that exactly one year prior, I was preparing for the arrival of my own bundle of joy. The realization of just how quickly these twelve months have gone finally hit me, and I was a wreck.

When Boo’s birthday finally rolled around yesterday, though, I was happy – excited, even. I’m entering a new stage of parenthood. It’s terrifying, but it’s exciting!

I had a whole party planned out: it was going to be a winter theme, with pretty blue cupcakes and all sorts of different snacks. The night before, we went out and bought all our supplies and I prepped several pounds of vegetables, made two different kinds of dip, assembled a ton of pepperoni pinwheels that would be cut in the morning, baked forty-two cupcakes, and set our table up. In the morning, I threw some hot dogs into the crockpot with barbecue sauce. We were ready for a party, and we were expecting around twenty or twenty-five people to show. It was my very first time hosting a party like that and I was really excited to have people over.

And then… everyone canceled. Mother Nature seemed to have her own ideas about the day, and snow had made the roads difficult to drive on. Our guest list drastically decreased to just two people. All the food, all the effort, all the time I had put into getting things ready felt wasted. What was the point?

To say that I was upset would be an understatement. I had high hopes for Boo’s first birthday party to be a total success, and instead, it felt like a failure. Many tears were shed that morning.

Despite my disappointment, I did have a good day, and most importantly, so did Boo. She got to see one of her grandmas and one of her aunts and she really did seem to have a blast. She danced, we all ate cake, we handed out presents, and spent some time together. Boo got a cool new bath toy, an adorable stuffed dog, an AquaDoodle mat, and a Little People amusement park structure. She had such a great time, and so did her father and I. We have snack food up to our eyeballs, but at least we won’t go hungry this week, I guess. It wasn’t a perfect party, but we enjoyed ourselves.

If there are anymore children in our future, I’m hoping none of them will be winter babies. I don’t think I could take another disappointing party. I’m not even sure I want to host another party again anyway.

At least we had a good time. That’s all that really matters.

2013: The First Year of Parenthood

It’s crazy to think that a year ago, I was the size of a whale – and it’s even crazier to think that in just a couple of weeks, my baby girl will be turning a year old. Where the heck did the last year go?

FIRST YEAR 01Here I am, exactly a year ago today, one week from my due date and anxiously waiting to meet my daughter. I was uncomfortable and excited and nervous and tired; I was a giant bundle of nerves, and I had no idea what was in store for me in those following days, weeks, years. I remember when I was a child, all the horror stories I’d heard about the pain of labor, and throughout my teen years, I thought, “That will never be me, I could never put myself through that kind of agony, why do people have children?” And as I got older, that sort of mindset seemed to change, and when I did find myself suddenly pregnant, I remained cautiously optimistic that all those horror stories I’d heard about the pain and the changes my body would go through had been just that: stories. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

It was, however, even worse than I could have ever imagined. The pain was excruciating, but I survived. (And I owe a great deal of thanks to modern medicine – the epidural was the only thing that kept me going.) It was exciting, though, and at the end of it all, I got to meet my precious bundle of joy. I look back at the photos from her birth now and think about how amazing the female body is; I created a human being, I gave life to this little human being, I brought her into this world. How incredible is that?

My boyfriend swears that there’s this sort of pregnancy amnesia that all women have. They forget about all the bad stuff during labor and remember all the good; I think he’s probably right.

2013 was a great year for us. It had its share of ups and downs, but it was the year that we gave little Boo to the world, and it’s the year that we officially became a family. I gave birth to the love of my life, I quit my job in retail to work from home as a personal assistant, my boyfriend accepted a job making double what he was making at his previous job. Boo survived long car rides, a vacation on the beach, and her first round of holidays – and she got to meet her great-great-grandmother!

This past year has reminded me how incredibly lucky I am to have the life I lead. My New Year’s resolutions this year are simple: to keep myself positive, no matter what happens, and to write more. I’m so very excited to see what 2014 will bring. (And if 2014 happens to bring more sleep… I would be so very, very grateful!)