Are You Sure You Want Kids?

If you were unsure about having kids, let me tell you a story of what it’s like to have a three and a half year old and a five month old.

A couple of days ago, after I was finished with work, I went downstairs to start dinner. Chicken tacos were on the menu, and I put a few chicken breasts in my Instant Pot to get those going. When it came time to shred the chicken, I pulled each one out individually to do so.

Meanwhile, R was keeping herself busy and E was in one of those sit-and-stand toys in the kitchen, keeping herself occupied. R kept asking for “yellow cheese,” which really just means she wanted the Kraft singles that were in the fridge. I told her to wait, dinner would be done soon, but she got into the fridge anyway to grab her cheese.

Fine. Whatever. It’s not worth the fight.

She was on her third slice when she asked if she could go potty – because, no matter how often I tell her she doesn’t need permission, she always has to have my blessing before she uses it. I sent her away, telling her to go ahead and go potty. By then, E started crying, wanting out of her toy. I kept talking to try to distract her until I could finish with the chicken.

R came back into the kitchen a couple of minutes later, asking me about the potty. Then she said cheese. Specifically, it came out, “Cheese potty.” I knew immediately where this was going, yet I still found myself asking…

“What about the cheese and the potty? Did you throw your cheese into the toilet?”

No response from R. I set down my fork and my knife and headed around the corner to the bathroom, which is when E got really upset and wouldn’t calm down. Sure enough, there was the slice of cheese sitting at the top of the water. I sighed. “Why is your cheese in the potty?” I asked.

All R could do was ask me to get it out.

I explained that I couldn’t and tried to flush it, and the toilet was clogged. E was crying so hard that I knew I would need to come back to it in a minute, so I went back to the kitchen to grab her, and she had pooped – and it had gone halfway up her back. (No wonder she was crying!) I panicked for a minute, then went back to the toilet to quickly unclog it.

Then, I went back to clean up E a little so I could pick her up to take her upstairs for a change. R, upon realizing that her cheese was gone forever, began sobbing about the fact that the toilet had essentially eaten the cheese that she had intended to eat herself. There were tears. So, so many tears.

I got E cleaned up, gave her a bath, and put her down for a nap while R continued to be upset about cheese. “Cheese gone, Mom?” Yes, honey; the cheese is gone forever. That’s what happens when we throw it into the toilet.

Chaos. And this was an easy day.

So, just in case you were wondering, this is what parenthood is like.

Regarding My Children’s Privacy

When I started this blog a few years ago, I thought it would just be someplace fun where I could share stories about motherhood, my daughter, and whatever else happened to come to mind. I occasionally posted photos of my child (I only had one up until earlier this year), knowing that my friends and family could come here to see what I was writing.

Then, I started sharing my blog. On Facebook pages, on forums…

And then I came to the realization that many people – nameless, faceless people that I didn’t know – were seeing these posts and seeing my child.

And when it dawned on me that anyone could save these photos and use them for whatever purpose they wished, I decided that I needed to take the photos down.

This isn’t my Facebook page, which is locked down pretty tight. The people who see this blog might be friends or family, but they could be total strangers, too, and I’m no longer comfortable sharing photos of my children here. I don’t allow my children’s faces to be shown on my Instagram page, so why do I allow them to show up on this site?

I’ve kept the photos of myself and my husband; we’re both adults who can decide where our pictures can be posted and who can see them. It feels a little irresponsible to keep pictures of my children up on my blog for the world to see.

I will admit, I’ll miss seeing the photos every time I look at this blog, but it’s better this way.

Bedtime Buddies

We have our crib set up next to the bed with only three sides assembled, so the crib mattress is sort of an extension of our big mattress. This gives E her own space to sleep while still keeping her close enough to keep an eye on her and breastfeed her easily in the middle of the night. It works – and she sleeps like a rock most nights. I get a good three to four hours before she wakes up to feed most

She’s been cranky the last couple of days and has had trouble sleeping. After putting her to bed, I went downstairs to catch up on Game of Thrones. I thought she was sleeping almost too soundly given how she’s been acting the last couple of days. As it turns out, R had gotten out of bed and got on our bed to lay in my spot on the bed, next to where E was laying in the crib.

R is so incredibly jealous of E most of the time, and this warms my heart. I have no doubt that E is sleeping better tonight because R is laying with her. (She always sleeps better when I’m in bed too.)

I love them both so much.

I’m going to finish this episode of Game of Thrones and then head to bed. I’m not quite sure I have the heart to move R back into her room tonight. We’ll see.