life

On Love and Marriage

/ Katie / Leave a comment

If you had told me when I was younger that I’d meet the person I’d want to spend the rest of my life with at eighteen years old, I wouldn’t have believed it. I probably would have laughed at you, actually, because love wasn’t exactly a priority for me as I grew up. Was it something I wanted? Sure, but I certainly didn’t expect it to happen when it did. I guess that’s kind of how love is, though.

My boyfriend and I met at the end of August in 2008. We were both college freshmen and we met during the weekend of freshmen orientation. I thought he was this really awkward nerdy kid, and I’d imagine he didn’t think much of me at the time. He was nice, though, and he offered to let me tag along to a party during one of those first few times we talked. I was so excited to go to one of those cool college parties that I’d been looking forward to for ages that I immediately said I’d accompany him! Maybe I’d finally be a cool kid, the kind I’d never been in high school. Much to my disappointment, however, the party I’d been invited to turned out to be nothing more than a quiet social event, a barbecue at a local fraternity to meet some of the incoming freshmen boys, along with a few girls here and there. It was awkward, I felt out of place, and I pretty much clung to this boy the entire time because I didn’t know anyone else.

We hung out everyday after that. Something just kind of clicked, and he quickly became one of my best friends. He was goofy – in a good way – and I really enjoyed spending time with him. At some point, I realized I had feelings for him, and after we’d been friends for a few weeks, I finally admitted it to him. I got no real response on his end, so I dropped it altogether, until a few days later when I found out he also had feelings for me. It was a bit of a rough start, but at the end of September 2008, we officially became a couple and I was ecstatic. It had been a while since I’d dated anyone, and it was nice to be in a relationship again.

As happy as I was, I didn’t really expect it to become anything serious. (And this is no shock to him – we’ve talked about this before, and he didn’t really expect it to be, either.) We were both so young, and we still had so much to learn about each other, ourselves, and adulthood. We continued to spend every free second we had with one another, and quickly became very close. He wasn’t just my boyfriend, he had become my best friend, my confidante, and he made me so happy. We fell in love quickly, which I think very often spells out “doom” for so many young couples, but even after nearly six years, we’re still going strong.

I can’t say our relationship is perfect – in fact, it’s far from it – but there’s a lot of love and a lot of commitment involved. We’ve certainly had our moments, where we weren’t sure if we’d both make it to the other side, but even in the worst of times, we’ve always managed to pull through. In the fall of 2011, for example, we had nearly reached our breaking point. We were both so stressed with things going on in our lives that our relationship began to suffer, but there was light at the end of the tunnel, and we stuck it out – things got better. I think that’s something that so many couples seem to forget: things really can and often do get better if you give them a little time and have a little patience. Don’t throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble because, more often than not, you can and you will get through it.

In May of 2012, life had serious plans for us: we were going to have a baby. It was such a surprise for us, and it really threw a kink into our relationship again, when it had finally started to become solid again. It took a few weeks for us both to come around to the idea of becoming parents, and when reality really hit us, my boyfriend embraced the coming change in our lives. He was incredibly patient and kind to me during those next few months, and in January of 2013, as I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl, he was right by my side, supporting me every step of the way. He was amazing.

And, in February of 2014, we made the decision to finally set a date to get married. It wasn’t some big romantic gesture, but rather a conversation over Valentine’s Day dinner that started with, “You know, it’s been five years, we have a one year old daughter, do you want to get married? Just pick a date and do it?” out of my own mouth. Without hesitation, Mike responded that yes, in fact, he did want to spend the rest of his life with me, and no, he wasn’t sick of me yet – which really was a relief to me, because even I get sick of my own company sometimes. (I kid, I kid… kind of.)

I love my boyfriend – baby daddy, fiance, I kind of call him all of the above – with all my heart. I certainly don’t need to get married, and I don’t think it’ll make us any more of a family than we already are, but it will be nice to finally tie the knot later this year with our immediate families and grandparents. We’ve set the date and we’re ready to “just do it.” I suppose it’s not a very traditional way to get engaged and certainly not the traditional way to get married, but Mike and I have never been a very traditional couple anyway. All that matters is that we’re happy with what we do, and I think we will be. I wouldn’t want our life together to have turned out any differently than it has.

I’m excited. He’s excited. It feels like the right time and the right way for us to do things.

Friedrich Nietzsche is quoted as saying, “There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.” I think he was onto something. Relationships can drive us crazy and push us to our emotional limits sometimes, but there is also so much good that can come out of a relationship. Mike and I disagree and we argue and we drive each other crazy sometimes, it’s just like any other couple, but we’re also very happy together and we’re so ready to start this next chapter in our lives. I am so lucky and thankful to have such a wonderful significant other and a lovely daughter.

 

I Just Want Some Sleep

/ Katie / Leave a comment

Mother Nature is awfully cruel. I’m so used to my daughter waking up several times a night, that of course she’s only woken up once so far since I put her down for bed last night, and I’ve been up for two hours (since 4:30am) because I can’t sleep. Go figure.

We hit thirteen months yesterday! It’s crazy how fast time is flying. I always thought I’d be really sad and miss the baby stage, but every week seems to bring something new, and it’s really exciting and fun. I’m enjoying being the mom of a toddler, who’s learning to walk and talk and really is the joy of my life.

I enjoy it even on the worst of days. (She’s lucky she’s so damn cute!)

I just wish I could sleep. A new study estimates that new parents lose out on about forty-four days of sleep in their baby’s first year. (If your family is anything like mine, though, replace the word “parents” with “moms.” I’m pretty certain that my boyfriend could sleep through anything, but since he works full-time, I usually let him.) That’s over a thousand hours of lost time! That’s just in the first year, too, and I can tell you that there’s no magical age when kids start sleeping through the night on their own. We’ve hit thirteen months and we’re still waking up during the night.

It’s days like this, when I am exhausted and cranky and could easily make up those forty-four days of lost sleep all at once if I had the chance, that I wonder why people ever have children in the first place. And then I look at my smiling, happy, wonderful daughter and those thoughts all seem to disappear.

I’d give (almost) anything for just a few more hours in the day to sleep, though.

The Days Are Long, The Years Are Short

/ Katie / Leave a comment

“The days are long but the years are short.” I have no idea where I heard this once, but it’s definitely fitting when it comes to parenthood. My days are often filled with tantrums and tears; it’s not a typical day without at least one complete meltdown. Some days are a real struggle, if I’m being totally honest, and seem to just go on and on and on and… you get the idea. This last year has really just flown by, though, and it makes me sad that we’ve officially entered the “toddler” stage. My baby is not such a baby anymore.

When you become a parent, you really have to take a step back and stop rushing things. During all the tantrums, you have to remind yourself that this, too, shall pass, and before you know it, your child will be another year older.

Of course, my days aren’t totally filled with tears. My days are also filled with love and laughter; between the tantrums, we cuddle and we play on the floor together and we have regular dance parties in front of the television. She’s my sun, moon, and stars, my pride and joy, my reason for living, my greatest accomplishment, my happiness, my inspiration. She is the little love of my life, and she’s a year old already.

A couple of days ago, a good friend of mine informed me that her water broke (three weeks early!) and she was looking at having her baby soon. I began to cry, thinking that exactly one year prior, I was preparing for the arrival of my own bundle of joy. The realization of just how quickly these twelve months have gone finally hit me, and I was a wreck.

When Boo’s birthday finally rolled around yesterday, though, I was happy – excited, even. I’m entering a new stage of parenthood. It’s terrifying, but it’s exciting!

I had a whole party planned out: it was going to be a winter theme, with pretty blue cupcakes and all sorts of different snacks. The night before, we went out and bought all our supplies and I prepped several pounds of vegetables, made two different kinds of dip, assembled a ton of pepperoni pinwheels that would be cut in the morning, baked forty-two cupcakes, and set our table up. In the morning, I threw some hot dogs into the crockpot with barbecue sauce. We were ready for a party, and we were expecting around twenty or twenty-five people to show. It was my very first time hosting a party like that and I was really excited to have people over.

And then… everyone canceled. Mother Nature seemed to have her own ideas about the day, and snow had made the roads difficult to drive on. Our guest list drastically decreased to just two people. All the food, all the effort, all the time I had put into getting things ready felt wasted. What was the point?

To say that I was upset would be an understatement. I had high hopes for Boo’s first birthday party to be a total success, and instead, it felt like a failure. Many tears were shed that morning.

Despite my disappointment, I did have a good day, and most importantly, so did Boo. She got to see one of her grandmas and one of her aunts and she really did seem to have a blast. She danced, we all ate cake, we handed out presents, and spent some time together. Boo got a cool new bath toy, an adorable stuffed dog, an AquaDoodle mat, and a Little People amusement park structure. She had such a great time, and so did her father and I. We have snack food up to our eyeballs, but at least we won’t go hungry this week, I guess. It wasn’t a perfect party, but we enjoyed ourselves.

If there are anymore children in our future, I’m hoping none of them will be winter babies. I don’t think I could take another disappointing party. I’m not even sure I want to host another party again anyway.

At least we had a good time. That’s all that really matters.